The Dungeon Bastard comes to FDG!

 

 

 

Dear GM’s,

I present The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Traps, a collection of deadly devices and hideous scenarios guaranteed to make your players so paranoid they’ll start checking their chairs for pressure points before they sit down at your gaming table.

 

Now, you all know that the Dungeon Bastard coaches ADVENTURERS, those noble heroes who risk it all for a handful of experience and the chance to behead a troll seven or eight times while someone looks up tinderboxes on YouTube to see how long it takes to light a fire. Adventurers are my bag.

 

So, unless you don’t have the sense Odin gave a raven, you are asking, Bill -  what the hell are you doing helping writing a book to help out the very same pathetic sadists you have been working to help us dungeon trainees take down for all these years? Why would you betray your brother and sister players by helping those egomaniacal, extra-manticore-adding, stingy-with-the-magic-gear, secret-door-trapping, much-too-liberal-with-the-slimes-and-oozes, grab assers?

 

Well, there’s a reason.

 

THE BASTARD IS TOO DAMN GOOD AT HIS JOB!

 

I’ve whipped so many players into shape that GMs are running scared. The graduates of my training program are lifting up dungeons and shaking them until experience points fall out. I’ve got rangers picking GMs for their favored enemy and leaving their screens full of arrows. Dungeon level bosses are getting atomic wedgies from half-elf bards. HALF ELF BARDS, do you hear me? It’s madness!

 

Helpless to stop the onslaught of badass dungeoneers, game masters turn to the only chance they have – that I will deign to share some of my hard-won experience with them to give them a chance of standing up against the army of unstoppable dungeon raiders I created.

 

And so the Bastard, reluctantly but with his head held high, shall grace the other side of the screen with the Continual Light of his dungeon design brilliance. In this sacred tome of badassdom, you will find a collection of the most deviously cunning designs, cruelest encounters, and abjectly humiliating situations to keep your players more nervous than a bunch of noobs in the Tomb of Horrors.

 

BE WARNED! Once you start to learn the Bastard Method of Dungeon Design, you are going to want to take those wussy dungeons you wrote back in freshman year study hall with the complicated role play and the red herring quests out into the yard and lob fireballs at them.

THERE IS NO TURNING BACK!

GAME MASTERS: STRIKE FIRST! STRIKE HARD! BE THE EVIL BASTARD GM YOU WERE MEANT TO BE! 

 

Yours in St. Cuthbert,

 

Bill Cavalier

 

 

NOTE: This product contains explicit language that may not be suitable for children.

 

 

About Fat Dragon Games

Fat Dragon Games is recognized worldwide as one of the leading producers of tabletop terrain and game aids, most notable being their downloadable PDF terrain sets designed for the beginner paper modeler. Since their launch in 2005, they have built an expansive product catalog covering many genres including fantasy, sci-fi, western, modern and steampunk, and have won two ENnie Awards for Best Miniature Product.For more information, please visit www.fatdragongames.com

 

About Epic Level Entertainment

Epic Level Entertainment is a leading entertainment company creating and producing genre franchises for film, television and the internet. “Dungeon Bastard” is one of Epic Level’s many productions, as well as Machinima’s gamer web series “Bite Me”, their original series “Space Guys in Space”AND “XOMBIE”, and distributors of the popular “It Gets Bigger” Dan Savage parody series. Epic Level has a passion for genre stories of all types, transforming entertainment properties into franchises extending into publishing, games, webisodes/mobisodes, collectibles, and merchandise. The company is headquartered in Los Angeles, California.For more information on Epic Level, please visit www.epiclevel.com. For more information on the Dungeon Bastard, go to www.dungeonbastard.com.